 |
|
DESTINATION Tone Magazine January 2010 Some people take great satisfaction in completing tasks, whether that’s reading a book, finishing a piece of work, cleaning the garage or house, or hosting a social event. At the end of the day, they feel a job has been well done, and with that a great sense of accomplishment and pleasure. How do you know if you feel satisfied? How do you define success? If success is always in the future, you can’t feel satisfaction today. No matter what you achieve, you have a new goal in place, and you can’t pause to take satisfaction in the accomplished goal. This occurs when your childhood was rife with requirements that were never quite satisfied, so that you always had to seek approval. The kid who comes home with a good grade, and the parent asks what happened to the other marks. The kid for whom any praise is wrapped in criticism and advice so they can do better next time. When you can see ways you could have done it better, or faster, or you can’t feel that what is accomplished is good enough, then you can’t feel success today. The job is done, and may be done well, but you can’t connect with satisfaction because it should have been done better. This occurs when your childhood authority figures rarely gave messages of completion. The child who completes a chore, and is told they did it wrong and must do it again, or finish it right. The child who paints a picture and is told they’re wasting time or that they should have been doing a task valuable to the parent. Success might be impossible because you seek perfection. The child who is taught to seek perfection might be encountering Christian programming about being perfect to reach heaven despite concepts of forgiveness. Often people who feel driven to seek perfection are the child of a narcissistic parent, who keeps the child in seeking approval because the parent needs the control and attention. The narcissistic parent is the master of guilt and obligation, often disguising complaints in observations about other people’s behavior, or charming compliments to anyone but you. If the neighbor’s kid is ‘such a nice kid’ the automatic implication is that you’re not the nice kid. Check to see if you’ve internalized any of the programs that prevent the feeling of success. The conditioning occurs at a very young age. It starts when you are given a requirement. For example, you might be sent to fetch something, like a green box. You return with the green box, and you’re told it’s not the right green box, or it wasn’t supposed to be a green box, it was the red box. The implication is ‘what’s wrong with you?’ that you couldn’t do it right. The second level of programming is established when you are sent on another task, for example you are told to empty the dishwasher. Then you’re told that you put something in the wrong place and this is just like the time you brought the wrong green box. The implication is ‘what’s wrong with you?’ that you couldn’t do it right AND you’re consistently not doing it right, so whatever is wrong with you is chronic. Now the message is that you are flawed. The third level of programming occurs when you are given a task, for example you are told to set the table. Then you’re told you forgot to put the condiments on the table. This time, you think ‘what is wrong with me?’ Now it’s internalized, and you have decided that you are flawed. If someone told you that you did a great job setting the table, you’d dismiss the praise and find a way to criticize your accomplishment. Do you ever have that thought: What is wrong with me? Fortunately energy work can release old programs and get rid of negative self-talk. You’ll find tools from previous Insights columns about how to remove these programs, or you can find the Unlock meditation on the Living Your Light CD, all on the website. Let’s start with simple retraining, to counteract many years of thinking there’s something flawed inside you. Every time you do a task, pause and think about the fact that you did it right, and that you’re good. This may sound corny, but it’s reprogramming your subconscious after all these years of dismissing the things you do right. You are teaching your subconscious to feel comfortable with success and satisfaction. Every time you empty the dishwasher, or make it to work on time, or flush the toilet, pause and acknowledge that what you did is right and what you are is right. You can use Resolution Ball of Light to internalize feeling that what you are is right. Sit quietly and focus on your breath. Surround yourself with a ball of bright white light and let the light spin through you and around you. Think about the things you did right today. When negative thoughts intrude, simply let the light carry them away. Imagine the light melting through you and melting away the source of the negative thoughts. Allow yourself to feel right and successful for what you have accomplished. Sit with that feeling for a minute or two. Continue spinning the light to allow Detox, to release anything that needs to go. Then release the light and bring your attention back to the room. These are the steps towards feeling good about yourself, on the inside. It’s totally reasonable to feel that particular actions or behaviors or words were good or bad. It’s important to know that you are inherently right, and that your behaviors can be changed when you work with your subconscious. What you are is right.
Byline:
|
Order CD Your Instructor Downloadable PDF
|
||
|
|
|||
Home • About • Workshop Info • Resources • Contact |
|||
